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| Zirca, Singaore |
Hello, Friends!
Singapore rocks, honestly.
OK, so same-sex sexual activity is illegal between men only – why, I don’t know. In 2007, oral and anal sex were legalised for heterosexuals and female homosexuals. But homosexual men who engage in shocking behaviour, such as blowjobs or bumfun, may be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to 2 years, for “acts of gross indecency.” I mean, who in the world is silly enough to complain to the cops that they got their cock sucked? In my books, you say “Thank you,” instead, for such a lovely gesture. It’s only good manners.
Thank goodness the law doesn’t generally seem to be enforced. I mean – duh! The city is crawling with homosexuals! And I highly doubt that Singapore’s over-exercised gay male populace, all attired in what seems to be the de rigueur Singapore gay uniform of super-tight Topman tee and super-short shorts in a bold colour (electric blue, fire-engine red, or plain pink), are celibate! I mean, these boys obviously work on their muscles just as hard as they do on their careers. And why not. We live in a Grindr world, after all. There’s the stock market, and then there’s the meat market. And Grindr has become the most valid tool through which we measure our worth in the meat market. No abs, no glory.
I was lucky enough to have been introduced to gay Singapore’s Drag Queen Bee, Bernice. Bernice is as big a celebrity as one gets in the local LGBT scene. As long as we were with Bernice, we were chauffeured in Mercedes-Benz limousines, we zoomed to the front of every queue, and we graciously accepted waivers of every club’s door charge. “I take care of my guests,” she said. Her generosity is astounding. That’s just the way she rolls – all the while doing a fab job of working the crowd whilst balanced on stratospheric Louboutins, with a perpetually filled flute of Moet.
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| Bernice on the right and a loyal subject with Sinagpore's ubiquitous vodka cranberry jug |
“Do you swallow?” is Bernice’s way of introducing herself to people. Clearly, just “Top or Bottom?” doesn’t do it for the Queen Bee, because her follow-up question is: “Do you trim?” And that’s fair, honestly, because if you want to have visitors “down there,” the house needs to be clean. When I grow up, I wanna be like Bernice.
So Superstar Sunday was spent at mega-club Zirca, where there’s an escalator leading up to the upper level. Since we were with Bernice, we were given the equivalent of a small kingdom in the VIP area. We were plied with champagne, and honestly, we were super grateful. But soon enough it became obvious that we were not meant for such fineries; it didn’t take long before we were swigging champagne straight from the bottle. Hey, it was either champagne or ginormous jugs of vodka cranberry, with only four drops of vodka in it! This is Singapore, after all, and alcohol serves are tightly calibrated. So we stuck with champagne, natch.
The main draw of Superstar Sunday is DJ George Leong, who is a dish. Talented, check. Amazing handling of the crowd, check. Good looks and abs, check, check. In fact, he took his top off at around 2am to give the addled masses even more reason to worship. He did the rest of his set in topless glory. He is a hybrid DJ-slash-gigolo. What more can you ask for?
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| Superstar Sunday at Zirca, Singapore |
Oh, and Zirca brought the house down with confetti showers AND with featured Grindr profile-of-the-minute on the huge LED screen. Sweet. It was feel-good all around.
For a place where blowjobs and bumfun between consenting men are illegal, Singapore’s pretty happening for homos. It looks like Singapore is Singa-bore No More.
With Affection,
James
First published in Dim Sum Magazine, August 2011
Photos by Johan Karsoho
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